Sunday, 18 March 2012

Confessions of a Pastor's Wife: Confession #3

Confession #3: I'm in a Twelve Steps group.

No, I am not an alcoholic, a drug addict and I didn't have a traumatic childhood. My parents love me, I get along with my brothers and sisters and I think my in-laws are great (I know, right?!). So what the heck do I need to be in a Twelve Steps group for?

Here's how I came to be in a Twelve Steps group in 12 steps (so appropriate!) and then I will give you my answer:

1. Receive email asking me to join a Twelve Steps group.

2. Have mental breakdown wondering why they would ask me to join: What is wrong with me? Do they somehow see faults and flaws I don't? Do they somehow know about the faults and flaws that I thought I was doing such a good job at hiding? Why is this happening to me?

3. Stew about this all day.

4. Husband comes home from work.

5. Husband asks me "Hey, did you get that invite to Twelve Steps? I think it will really help our marriage."

6.  Oh. No. He. Didn't.

7. He tells me he will be in his own Twelve Step group.

8. Calm down. A little. Okay, not really.

9. Rush around getting dinner ready for the family, put kids to bed, ignore the disaster of toys spread around the house, try to write something, fall asleep on the couch, wake up and have a minor meltdown that there is no TIME for anything! Why don't I have energy? I can't do this anymore!!!!

10. Research Twelve Steps and read Step One.

11. Email back to say I will be a part of the group

12. Go to my first class. Step One: We admit that we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable.

Answer: I'm human. I'll take all the help I can get.